Why March is the only month worth traveling (and where I’d actually go)
March is a miserable month if you stay home. It’s that weird, purgatory-style transition where the novelty of snow has worn off and turned into a gray, slushy mess, but the trees haven’t realized it’s supposed to be spring yet. I can’t stand it. Every year, around the 10th, I start looking at flight maps like a caged animal.
But most travel advice for March is garbage. It’s all ‘go to Cancun for spring break!’ or ‘visit Washington D.C. for the blossoms!’ No. Unless you enjoy being surrounded by nineteen-year-olds throwing up on their shoes or standing in a three-hour line to look at a tree, don’t do that. I’ve spent the last six years testing different spots during this specific window, and I have some thoughts. Some of them are probably wrong, but they’re mine.
Antigua, Guatemala is the only right answer
I’m starting here because I’m biased. I think Guatemala is the most underrated country in the Western Hemisphere, and March is the sweet spot. The rainy season hasn’t started, so the sky is this aggressive, violent shade of blue every single morning. I spent three weeks there in March 2018, and it changed how I think about travel.
It wasn’t all perfect, though. I have to be honest: I got the worst food poisoning of my life in Antigua. It was March 14th. I bought a ‘shuco’ (a Guatemalan hot dog) from a street vendor near the Santa Catalina Arch. By 2:00 AM, I was lying on the cold tile floor of a $42-a-night hostel bathroom, questioning every life choice I’d ever made. I lost four pounds in two days. It was brutal.
But the city? I’d go back tomorrow. Walking over those uneven cobblestones while three different volcanoes loom over you is a feeling you can’t get anywhere else. The light in the afternoons is heavy and gold. It feels old. Not ‘European museum’ old, but ‘living history’ old. Just avoid the street hot dogs if you have a weak stomach. Or don’t. The risk is part of it. Go to Antigua for the coffee and the ruins, stay for the fact that it’s 75 degrees while your neighbors are shoveling sleet.
Stop going to Southern Utah in March
I know people will disagree with this. Every ‘outdoorsy’ influencer on Instagram is posting photos of Zion or Arches in March. They tell you it’s the ‘shoulder season.’ They are lying to you.
I went to Zion two years ago in mid-March. I thought I was being smart. I wasn’t. What I mean is—actually, let me put it differently. It’s not a wilderness experience anymore; it’s a logistics nightmare. The shuttle system feels like Disney World for people who own Patagonia vests. You have to wake up at 5:00 AM just to wait in a line to get on a bus to wait in another line to hike a trail that is literally bumper-to-bumper people.
Also, it’s cold. Everyone forgets this. The desert is a liar. It’s 60 degrees during the day, which is fine, but the second the sun drops behind a canyon wall, it plunges to 35. I froze my off in a tent near Springdale because I believed the ‘temperate’ weather reports. If you want to go to Utah, go in May or October. March is for people who like crowds and hypothermia. Total waste of time.
The Azores (specifically São Miguel)
This is a weird one, but hear me out. The Azores are a group of Portuguese islands in the middle of the Atlantic. In March, they are intensely green. Like, ‘it hurts your eyes’ green.
The weather in the Azores is a mood swing. You will experience four seasons in forty minutes.
I actually tracked the weather there for a two-week stint. I’m a nerd like that. I recorded an average wind speed of 18.4 mph, with gusts that felt like a wet wool blanket hitting you in the face. It’s damp. It’s misty. It’s lonely.
And that’s why it’s great. While everyone else is fighting for a spot on a beach in Florida, you can hike around a volcanic crater lake in Sete Cidades and not see another human soul for three hours. It’s cheap, too. I found a rental car for 12 Euros a day because nobody wants to be there in the ‘off-season.’ Their loss. If you don’t mind your hair looking like a bird’s nest because of the humidity, it’s a win. Worth every penny.
I might be wrong about Japan, but…
Everyone talks about the Cherry Blossoms (Sakura). They usually start late March. I’ve tried to time this twice. I failed both times.
The first time, I was a week too early. Just sticks. Brown sticks everywhere. The second time, a ‘freak cold snap’ delayed the bloom by ten days. I spent $2,800 on a flight to look at buds. I think the whole Sakura-chasing thing is a scam run by the Japanese tourism board to get us to pay 3x the normal hotel rates.
Anyway, if you go to Japan in March, go for the food and the mountains, not the flowers. The flowers are fickle. They don’t care about your itinerary. Tokyo is better when it’s raining anyway. The neon reflects off the pavement in a way that makes you feel like you’re in a movie. But honestly? I’m starting to think Japan is becoming too ‘internet famous.’ Every corner of Kyoto now has a guy with a tripod blocking the sidewalk. It’s annoying.
Why I refuse to go back to Lisbon
I’m going to say it: I hate Lisbon’s hills. I know, I know. ‘They’re charming!’ ‘The yellow trams are so cute!’ No. They are a personal affront to my knees.
I went in March because people said the weather was perfect. It was fine, I guess. But walking in that city is a chore. The calçada tiles are slippery even when they aren’t wet. I slipped outside a bakery in Alfama and dropped a perfectly good pastel de nata. I sat on the ground for a full minute just staring at the custard on the ground. I don’t care if it’s ‘the best city in Europe’ right now. I’m bitter. I’m biased. I’m not going back until they install outdoor escalators everywhere.
If you want Portugal in March, stay in the south or go to the islands. Leave the hills to the people who enjoy shin splints. Never again.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just getting crankier as I get older. I used to think I could travel anywhere and be happy, but now I realize that 90% of a trip is just avoiding the things that everyone else is doing. March is a great time to see the world, but only if you’re willing to get a little bit cold, a little bit sick, or a little bit lost.
Where are you even thinking of going? I genuinely want to know if there’s a place I’ve missed that isn’t full of people holding selfie sticks.
Go to Guatemala. Seriously.